Sunday, November 30, 2008

Why does God hate the Lions?

Since leaving Michigan in 2002, my Tito can count on watching exactly one football game every year that includes his beloved Detroit Lions. Unfortunately, Sunday football viewing is restricted by the geographical zone we find ourselves in…..he has been condemned to viewing Raven, Steeler, Redskin, and Eagle football games. The one time each year he knows that he will be able to watch his Lions actually play is during their traditional Thanksgiving Day game. There is tremendous build-up to the big day in our house. We wash our Detroit Lion clothes to wear on the big day so as to put out good Detroit Lion mojo into the universe….and we get out Berry Pebbles’ jersey. She is named after one of the greats you know….she is the namesake of the jukebox himself, Barry Sanders. Even if he did abandon ship…..we honor his heroic battles on behalf of the Lions by calling our dog a name similar to his…only spelled different and with a second part. Anyhow, we had the traditional buildup to the big game and we suffered, well Tito suffered, the traditional loss of the Lions. Their record is 0 wins and 10 losses. So….what did the Lions do to God? Maybe it is the fans fault. Maybe there aren’t enough John 3:16 posters in the stands and so not enough prime time television viewers are exposed to…and confused by….what that means. Or maybe not enough people are praising “little baby Jesus” in the name of the Detroit Lions and they are only thinking about themselves and praising “dying on the cross Jesus” for good Christmas presents. Or maybe Jesus and his dad prefer foreign made cars. Maybe the players themselves aren’t giving Jesus the credit he deserves. You know, maybe they need to have some prayer circles or a circle jerk in the name of “young wise walking on water Jesus” or something. I just wish they could figure it out and get on God’s good side cause he seems good and pissed at them.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Lean on Me


When you are down…..and troubled….and you need a helping hand….just call on me …..and I’ll be there. Unless you are starting a painting project….then count me out. Never mind the fact that I am mixing song lyrics, the point is that I am there for you man….as long as no wall washing, taping, and/or painting is involved. That's all I'm sayin’….

Monday, November 03, 2008

May the Force Be With You

Tomorrow is election day. We are endorsing Obama…..for Change We Can Believe In! My Jedi sources tell me he will battle the dark side and restore balance to the galaxy and will most likey use a purple laser sword to do so.....as opposed to say green.